1. You try to give a cig to an old man in exchange for using him as a horse.
2. You start eating only steaks.
3. You take a trip to Stonehenge just to walk in the center and try to get cigs/charm/hp.
4. You consider getting real tattoos and jewelry in hopes that it'll increase the odds of you finding their respective boss creatures.
5. You buy some Mace or pepper spray and spray yourself before traveling.
6. You keep a close eye on your wallet when around actual midgets. (no offense intended)
7. You keep a close eye on your household appliances, waiting for the day they become sentient and attack.
8. You keep a close eye on people when going anywhere, waiting for one of them to attack.
9. You aren't afraid of normal woodland creatures, finding them too mundane to be a threat.
10. You ask your local bartender about rumors, expecting to go on a wild hunt and be handsomely rewarded for it.
11. You have no qualms about flirting with the local bar wench, but you would never consider actually marrying them.
12. You don't go camping without taking a chainsaw and the strongest armour you have. Oh and speaking of camping...
13. You expect your tent to be alive and large than it actually is on the inside.

I was riding in the car the other day and we drove by a cigar shop.
It was nestled in a strip mall below a large red CIGARS sign.

I remember seeing that sign and thinking about menacing pincers ... and that I have only my fists and they're not even strapped to my back.

15. You go tramping through the nearest woods for a couple of hours, expecting to find cameras that give you money.

You've got the Improbable Island Theme Song stuck in your head, but you're too tired to kill it until tomorrow.

when you start planning your day based on how many new days you have saved up.

When you fully expect any crazy cat ladies you see to give you a chance to gain energy by looking at their cats. Oh, and you do a little dance whenever you see hedgehogs in your backyard.

When you can never feel comfortable at a store, surrounded by all those appliances and pants... watching... waiting...

If you think you can cross a mountain or an ocean in a day because you think you have enough stamina.

(Why wouldn't you? You just had a steak.)

When you try and figure out if you have enough charm to get a big enough of a discount so you can afford a bag of chips.

(I actually did this today and was halfway to the counter before I realized what I was doing!)

Okay, so let's say you work in a bookstore, yes? And one day your manager does an overnight, and moves the bookshelves around, but you didn't know about it?

You know you've been on II too much when you get confused by the manager's involvement, because of course the bookshelves moved themselves. Didn't they? DIDN'T THEY??!!

Also. If you've taken to patting the bookshelves. And talking to them. And telling people about the great conversation you had with Hamlet the other day. You've gotten a bit too involved in your plotline, don'tchathink?

Not that...I've done any of these things...............**inches away**

Little season one humor

If you think you can go to a construction site and buy a bulldozer with only a pack of cigarettes.

...you explain to people that the FailBoat is an actual place and yes, you've been there.

You start dreaming in text, and your nightmares involve typo gremlins turning your meticulously composed dialogue into nothing but a string of random letters.

When, while reading a list like this, you say to yourself "there's nothing funny about that." Because you are defensive about doing all of them earlier.

...you wonder why you haven't encountered the Fourth Wall for a while.

A sneaky one it is.

When at work, you consider customer interactions to be Jungle battles, display changes to be Quest beasties, and when you're called into the office, you wonder what you did to annoy the Watcher this time.

When you begin a paragraph in a business letter with:

Dan: thinks this is a good time for you to...

You go into different restaurants and try to sell them different cuts of meat.

Where did you get the meat? Simple. You tried to skin a bowl of soup.