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PyreKasen
 Monday, February 01 2010 @ 02:24 PM UTC  
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Registered: 10/14/09
Posts: 22

DESCRIPTION
Wandering around the Jungle you find an opened crate. You prepare for disappointment, expecting it to be empty, but when you take a glance inside you realise it's stocked to the brim with more items than you've ever found in a crate! Grenades! Ration Packs! Medkits! Bones!

Wait, bones?

Suddenly the top of the crate slams down on you, trying to crush you. You manage to wrestle yourself free, only to watch the crate hop up and down angrily, spitting Grenades at you!

You have encountered Mimicrate which lunges at you with it's own contents!

TARGETED FIGHTING

Ration Packs (Low HP)
Who needs these, anyway? You'll just go out for Steaks as always.
Destruction: The contents of the Ration Packs get everywhere. Gross. (Enemy Attack -10%)

Medkits (Low HP)
You'd never be able to carry this many to town, might as well get rid of them now.
Destruction: Now it has less items to sift through while trying to get to the grenades. This might not have been the best idea. (Enemy Attack +20%)

Grenades (High HP)
These things aren't NEARLY as fun when used against you.
Destruction: The grenades detonate in a giant explosion! See, NOW they're fun. (Massive damage, kills enemy)

One-Shot Teleporters (Medium HP)
In a bout of insanity, you start attacking the most valuable items it caries.
Destruction: The Teleporters malfunction and pop away, together with a ton of other items. Some lucky contestant will be very happy, no doubt. (Enemy Attack -50%)

VICTORY MESSAGE
The Mimicrate blows up, taking out all those beautiful items as well. You spend several minutes weeping before moving on.

DEFEAT MESSAGE
Your ingenious plan to let the crate eat you to get to the items didn't work that well. You spend several hours locked up, somehow being digested, before the Fail Boat staff pries the Mimicrate open to pick you up.

JUNGLE
True

FAILBOAT
False

AUTHOR
Pyre Kasen


 
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Azhron
 Tuesday, February 02 2010 @ 12:28 AM UTC  
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Posts: 57

As you wander through the Jungle, you stifle a yawn. If only you had somewhere to lie down for a bit...
Suddenly, and with suspicious timing, you stumble across a clearing with a small cot in the center. Too tired to care, you go to sit down on the edge.
WHAM!!
Only your battle-hardened reflexes save you from being crushed as the cot slams shut. Rubbing your bruised shoulder, you draw your weapon as the bed reloads and comes scuttling creakily towards you.

You have encountered Camp Bed, which lunges at you with tightly wound springs!

Win: With an earsplitting screech, the bed folds in on itself and explodes in a shower of shredded linen. You feel much more awake now.

Lose: The bed enfolds you in its smothery grasp. Well, at least you don't have to worry about where to sleep tonight


 
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Chimental
 Saturday, February 06 2010 @ 02:52 PM UTC  
Forum Improbable Badass
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Registered: 06/30/09
Posts: 371

My idea for a meaty lvl 1 monster

Your heart jumps into your throat as you as you see the beast. You try to blink it away, thinking it's just a trick of the light, but to no avail. Right in front of you is over of ton of mindless killing machine, with cold dead eyes and rows upon rows of serrated teeth.

It's a good thing you're on land and not in the water, huh?

You've encountered A Great White Fail which lunges at you was Gasping and Flailing

Win: You realize you could have just waited for it to suffocate. How the hell did a shark get here, anyway?
Lose: The shark gets in a lucky flail and bites you on the leg. You pass out right before the shark does.

Jungle: Yes
Failboat: Yes

Meeeeeeeat: 5C, 4HD, 3T.

by: Chimental, King of the land of Longwiki.


I make the many models of a mutant individual. To make them I use vegetables, animals, and minerals. From robot bugs to zombie bears to many singing barnacles.
 
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Chimental
 Saturday, February 06 2010 @ 10:19 PM UTC  
Forum Improbable Badass
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Registered: 06/30/09
Posts: 371

Quote by: Chimental


Your heart jumps into your throat as you as you see the beast.



[A]im for that damn Typo Gremlin.


I make the many models of a mutant individual. To make them I use vegetables, animals, and minerals. From robot bugs to zombie bears to many singing barnacles.
 
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Anonymous: Haven
 Saturday, February 06 2010 @ 11:22 PM UTC  


DESCRIPTION:
While walking through the dense brush of the jungle, you shove aside a shrub shaped like a rabbit and come across a small sunny clearing covered with short yet soft grass. Letting out a sigh of relief, you collapse on the ground and let your eyes wander. Suddenly, something pale and fleshy flashes across your field of view. Looking again, you have a sort of revelation.

Oh my god, you think, that's my skin.

Suddenly an idea strikes. Peaceful clearing, soft grass, sunlight... It's like a natural tanning salon. Quickly, you strip off your armour, but to your surprise, large black bars appear over your naughty bits.

Glaring, you shout, "Hey! What's all this?" as a small weedy man appears out of the dense jungle foliage. Hesitantly, he steps forward.

"Hello, I am a representative of the FCC, sent here to tell those involved with the popular reality show Improbable Island that due to an increase in viewership by persons in the age group of 17 and under, we have to begin censorship of inappropriate words and images. Thank you and have a nice day."

You stare at him, enraged.

Taking a deep breath, you roar, "BEEP you, you BEEPing BEEP!" With that, you lunge.

NAME:
The FCC

WEAPON:
Censorship

LEVEL:
10-12

VICTORY!:
Coming to your senses, you pry the black bars off your body and bash his head in. Wiping your hands clean, you bare your exposed flesh to the nearest camera.

FAIL!:
I'm not sure, any help?

MMMMMEEEEEEEAAAT:
3C, 1H, 0T

Jungle true, Failboat false


 
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Chimental
 Saturday, February 06 2010 @ 11:55 PM UTC  
Forum Improbable Badass
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Quote by: Haven

FAIL!:I'm not sure, any help?



You are carried off onto the Failboat, now covered head to toe in black bars. Surprisingly, you're not bleeding.

How's that?


I make the many models of a mutant individual. To make them I use vegetables, animals, and minerals. From robot bugs to zombie bears to many singing barnacles.
 
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Kash
 Sunday, February 07 2010 @ 01:22 AM UTC  
Forum Improbable Badass
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Registered: 12/11/09
Posts: 149


While trekking through the deep jungle, you hear a whirring from around a blind corner ahead. Odd, you think, don't see many robots in these parts. You draw your weapon, knowing that it is highly improbable that this particular model (or, for that matter, any model) is going to be friendly. The machine rounds the corner and you see the glint off its...

Fur? Yep. The rectangular body in front of you is completely covered in calico fur. It leans on a handsome walking stick as it eyes you up and down, and it opens a furry panel to retrieve a syringe. "GOOD AFTERNOON," it buzzes, swinging its mechanical tail. "WOULD YOU CARE TO PLAY A GAME WITH ME?" Its LED eyes begin to glow, bright green.

You assail your foe in a panicked terror.

NAME: Robot Kittymorph Joker
WEAPON: Stabbity Claws flipping coins

WIN: You smash through the glassy hide and the abomination explodes in a massive green hairball.
LOSE: The last thing you see before passing out is a syringe full of antifreeze being injected into your arm.

JUNGLE: True
FAILBOAT: False

Created by Kash


 
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Mister Rawr
 Sunday, February 07 2010 @ 01:39 AM UTC  
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Posts: 63

NAME: Robot Kittymorph Joker


Think I know this guy.

Hmm...


 
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Hairy Mary
 Sunday, February 07 2010 @ 01:42 AM UTC  
Forum Improbable Badass
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Posts: 1083

Haven, for FAIL message, I suspect a lot of BEEPs would be appropriate. Or perhaps, [This message has been censored for inappropriate comments] or something like that?

Chimental: The typo gremlins have hit you hard there, should be 'over A ton' surely? And 'Great White Shark' rather than Fail perhaps? (Although I can see how easy it is to confuse 'being attacked by a shark', and 'going to the failboat'.)

I must say, I do rather like both the shark and the censor.

EDIT. Kash, like the robokittyjoker as well, hadn't seen it when I posted.


 
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Mister Rawr
 Sunday, February 07 2010 @ 01:46 AM UTC  
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Perhaps "Great White Fail" is in reference to a certain infamous White Whale? I dunno, that's how I interpreted it. In any case, I like 'em both.


Not that it really matters all that much.


 
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Chimental
 Sunday, February 07 2010 @ 01:50 AM UTC  
Forum Improbable Badass
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Posts: 371

First of all: A{i}m for that other fookin gremlin

Second: nope, the Fail was intentional. The reason is because it fails as a Great White, though Shark would work if people get confused.


I make the many models of a mutant individual. To make them I use vegetables, animals, and minerals. From robot bugs to zombie bears to many singing barnacles.
 
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