***** has been defeated in the jungle by Slash Fanfic.
"The next time I find a Slash Fanfic, do you know what I'm going to do to it?" **** raves as he is dragged into a FailBoat-bound rowboat. "I'm going to stuff it full of Improbability Bombs and beat it to death with its own goddamn sudden penis!"

Apparently imp bombs generate sudden penis!

I read that sentence as if the last thing said wasn't intended to be "Sudden Penis." As if the person was saying his sentence and then out of nowhere a penis appeared and he was shouting a warning to all.

I prefer this reding to th intended one.

While I like Adder's interpretation, I think our happy CMJ* meant the text to read "sodden penis," since improbability bombs are well known to cause everything in their blast radius to become sodden with improbability and cod liver oil.** Maybe the slip-up was caused by the slippery oil.***

People get really sensitive about language,**** but does this really need to be changed? I mean, we should be sympathetic toward the English***** and their occasional syntactical whims, eh?******

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* Rumor has it, he's English. They use words like "sodden" in England. And words like "crumpet" too. That's a fun word to say. Try it with me: "Crumpet, crumpet, crumpet." See? Just saying it makes my nipples explode with delight.

** Don't ask. It only encourages me in ways that society frowns upon.

*** Jeez, it's 1 a.m. here. Do you really expect me to be creative in any hour followed by "a.m."? Just wait here by the swings while I finish my little romp through Mr. Tangent's Playground.

**** Like this one time, my twenty-third now-ex-wife decided for no apparent reason that she didn't like the word "puke." But to me, that's what her cooking tasted like. Love may be blind, but its sense of vindictiveness is perfectly healthy.

***** After all, their cultural landmarks include television shows filled with fat women doing poultry impressions. It just can't match that beacon of media glory, the show about all those people put on an island somewhere and made to fight it out until only one of them is left. What was it called? Oh, right--Improbable Island.

****** Standard disclaimer: These statements are not to be taken internally, literally or seriously.