So, I drank from one of those streams you shouldn't drink from, and it says I'll be unconscious until the next day. The next day is in four minutes. The next day has been in four minutes for the past three real-time days. I can't go to Location Four and ask for help, because I can't get up, and the wiki isn't helping at all. What do I do now?

This might be a badnav. If clicking on links doesn't do anything, you need to send a Petition (hopefully there'll be a link at the top of the page) so that a moderator can rescue you.

Apart from that bad start, welcome to the Island! It's a lovely silly fun place to play, even if occasionally stuff like that happens.