Spring is here, and it's time for a no-beard face. Of course, as every man with a beard knows, you can't just shave off a beard. You have to leave patterns, and shapes. This could be your chance to see what you'd look like with a grizzly biker mo, a Groucho moustache, a Klingon beard.

But you can't try them all! Some of them cancel each other out!

So, VOTE. I'll post pics. Here's a reference.

EDIT: (removed)
EDIT EDIT: That's a terrible picture. I'll take another.
EDIT EDIT EDIT: Much better.
EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT: I was nipping out for a ciggy and saw a mirror, and a comb, and realised I didn't have a good side view. So I stuck the comb to my face and took a picture.

As a staunch advocate (and bearer) of the Hollywoodian myself, I'd vote that, assuming there's the material to work with.

Otherwise, DALI!

edit, from starting point:

Friendly mutton chops?

when you said beard I thought you meant it had substance Dan!

Short Boxed Beard would absolutely get my vote!

I'm actually going to change my vote to one of either:

Winnfield
The Mighty El Insecto

Shaving beards is sooooo 2010. Shave your head, instead.

Based on this entirely scientific assessment of the trustworthiness of various facial hair patterns, I would like to put in a vote for a goatee + mustache combo or friendly 'chops. And ten thumbs down for the insecto whatever the hell. We need him to keep his morale up, Dave; not get an MoTD next week that goes, 'So I've shaved my beard at your advice and Emily's kicked me out of bed. I'm starting a collection fund for flowers and a nice dinner. Help.'

I'm gonna go ahead and cast my vote in for the Franz Joseph or the Winnfield, depending on how awesome* ** you want to look.

*The Franz Joseph of course being more awesome.

**And by awesome I mean it in a more goofy as hell sort of manner.

And that reference picture does the real Franz Josef facial hair style no justice.

I vote for Franz Joseph style.

Alas, all I can grow is a Van Dyke.

Jack Sparrow beard Jack Sparrow beard

Won't your life feel so much more complete when you're sporting a Jack Sparrow beard? Yes. Yes it will.

Or, if you were looking for an actual vote, I'm with Z on the goatee+mustache combo.

i'm just sad that there's no toothbrush 'tache on the chart. odd how that seems to have gone out of fashion...

in its absence, i'll have to go for the Napoleon III. although i'd like to know if the supermario is actually growable.

You know, on further reflection, I'm not sure that any of those "standard" beard types are Improbable enough.

I HAVE AN IDEA.

Stay tuned.

I believe this is suitably Improbable...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYi24D9lHqc

So, the appearance I'm going for here is such that if one's hair sprouted an arm and tried to reach around and cover the mouth and nose so as to asphyxiate the wearer. It's supposed to be shaped like a comma, or, if you prefer, a tentacle. I call it the Cthulu Curl. One long stretch of beard descends from the right sideburn, curls beneath the chin and around the mouth, and terminates just as it's about to touch back upon itself.


Hmm.


God, it's worse than I thought.


Oh dear.


Actually, I could get used to this. I can see the versatility...


A friendly silly beardface for day-to-day use...


Combined with a more sombre, clean-shaven look for the occasional necessary moment of seriousness.

If you never intend on going out in public, it's perfect. Otherwise, I'd suggest symmetry is quite necessary.



Or, well... good thing you aren't doing job interviews and have all the friends you already need!








My personal suggestion is my own combo. Your link says I have what is a 'petit goatee' with a general bushy 'stache, which Z's link calls the Wilford Brimley. I'm not quite at the level of glory his mustache experiences, but it's in that general vein.

...good God, that is perfect.

Your creativity amazes me!

That is perfect!