Oh hey, big game companies - MY TAX BILL IS HILARIOUSLY LARGE BECAUSE YOU WON'T PAY YOUR FAIR SHARE YOU UTTER BASTARDS.

Ahem.

Folks, as you might have guessed, the taxman has visited and I've gotta find six grand from somewhere. Emily and I live month-to-month, we don't have owt saved up (which is how we paid the similar tax bill last year). I'm gonna do the sort of one-time-only bundle deal that you just can't pass up for Memories in Places, but I could use some more ideas for ways to get Fast Bucks. We've got nearly eight thousand players and we only need six grand, this shouldn't be hard. Help?

Might I suggest a 2012 Tax Bundle that would grant you a slip of paper along with a mild assortment of Lodge items. The paper would increase your bank interest for a single DK or something.

Or possibly, for 1,200 SP (or whatever varied amount you'd like) a cig box with 100 cigs, because I'd buy that over the 75 cig box.


Also, I can easily throw a decent sum of money at you; but which is better: Throwing a large lump some, or small ginger amounts.

Wouldn't it be nice if ordinary people could evade taxes as well as companies and millionaires can...

Good luck, CMJ! If you want to make more sales in the Lodge, then there were quite a few ideas here.

Another totally random idea: make some medals or something for awarding to the most generous donor/s. Perhaps people who donate more than X amount can, for the next month, get entered into a draw to win a small Lodge thing. (Might donate.)

And ... people who donate over X amount get to vote on which thing/s you will work on next? (Obviously from your choice of things. Would buy.)

And ... people who donate get to see pictures of your lions? (Would buy.)

(I would also guess that an MOTD would get noticed more than an Enquirer thread. Might be worth it casting the ideas-net and donation-appeal wider.)

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Improbable Reference Links - goo.gl/MRBnb -------------- Land Registry (map of Places) ---- goo.gl/bpkRR

Ooh, ooh, I can answer this one! Small donations are also very welcome, whenever the impulse moves you -- but "all at once" leaves more money for Dan because PayPal takes a fee from each transaction.

Edit: Oh, this thread was supposed to be about item ideas, wasn't it? Okay, how about this? Items that would let you invoke an NPC to subtract from the built-up monster count in a designated outpost -- and make the flavour text actually worth something:

Subtract 100 - Elias hands you an innocent-looking seashell, 100 sp
Subtract 500 - (mn... accepting flavour suggestions, here.) 500 sp
Subtract 1000 - 750 sp
Clear the Outpost - The Watcher calls in an Air Strike! (costs 2000 sp)

Meh. I'm generally okay with my bank sums, this would not entice me.


If only there were a way to have that not happen...


Watches finally doing something?! Hurray!

Flavor idea: Corporal Punishment comes in to kill some things, randomly YELLING some of his WORDS at all the MONSTERS!

Old Saint Nades comes in and starts throwing grenades at monsters.

Super Sneaky Bastard Message: Why yes, I did just suggest an NPC of my own creation. What of it?

The husband will grumble, but I just chucked a 20 in the hat. Wish I had more to give. Working in a bookstore means little cash.

As for items well...ummm....

You know what would be awesome? Just pure, super awesome awesome-sauce?

Something I would HAVE to throw money at? Just because it would be necessary to my SURVIVAL?

A stuffed spiderkitty doll.

I don't...I don't know how it would be possible. BUT I WOULD NEED ONE.

-moo

PS: Especially if it had a little joker hat or something.

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moooooooooo Visit and help me finish the monster list: goo.gl/rpBGe (Ya'll mostly know me as CLOG, fyi)

That already exists, minus the hat:







There are two of these guys in existence. CMJ has one, I've got another. Were there sufficient interest, we could auction one I reckon -- but that would be an AWFULLY EXPENSIVE PLUSH DOLL you'd be buying, mind.

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BARK BARK BARK.

Sobs.

Want.

Sobs more.

The sad thing, I could totally make one of those. I just want an 'official' one. I even have a dusty sewing machine.



Can't we farm out the pattern to Topataco?

-moo

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moooooooooo Visit and help me finish the monster list: goo.gl/rpBGe (Ya'll mostly know me as CLOG, fyi)

*Gasp* are we discussing physical meatspace objects?!

You should sell Requisition tokens! Watcher's face glowering on one side, FailBoat, SpiderKitty, the Drive or Harebrain on the other! I'd buy... some, depending on the price.

Super Sneaky Bastard Message: Or you could sell chainsaws...

He's still got pride of place atop my telly.

We do have a bloody shop, y'know!

Yes. Yes you do.

You could sell the Req in little sacks!

But, seriously, the store contains only one thing I want to buy, and my designated poster-space is already full.
Super Sneaky Bastard Message: I seem to remember you object to banner ads, so I won't even mention them.

You could sell Barn Raisers in the Lodge. I'm certain that there's people who would just jump on the chance for some of those. And as Buddleia mentioned, I'd suggest making a MOTD about this too.

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I love spambots: I'm in mania to here Tickled pink as thwack to obligation on a glimpse of you all

Donations are the route to go for this tax conundrum, you lot -- in-game item suggestions and/or detailed plans for bank heists are more useful (and immediate!) to the puzzle than merch suggestions.

People would spring for Barn Raisers, yeh.

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BARK BARK BARK.

Hmm... if you spend $5 on virtual goods, you have made a decision that whatever you bought was worth more than anything you could buy in the real world for $5...

My job can be to kill the bus driver! Who's with me?

But, really, I had some ideas:

Make a donation HoF. People like to be at the top of lists.

Make a Golden Metronome, which allows the user to always get the timed fighting bonus for a DK.

Make a Shiny medal for donating.

Make a meter of "Money CMJ needs". Give everyone Shiny Medals/other things if the meter is filled.

Make the previously suggested MoTD.

Make a sale on the Lodge items. If not the perms, then the one-uses.

Not so sneaky note: I probably took the HoF idea from someone. Credit to him/her/them.

Idea.

People like those stupid thermometer things. You see them outside of fire houses and so forth when people try to raise money. A big DR MARIO looking...thing...that fills up as people donate.

You could add one (I know I know I'm always thinking of ideas that make more work) and it would help keep people watching and maybe they'd kick in that little extra as it crept up to certain milestones?

Maybe make it sorta kickstarter-y? As much as it sucks to put more things on your plate maybe promise that for certain milestones certain things happen? Or...maybe make special things that only exist for those that kick in 100 or more.

Like those donation drives on NPR.

I used to listen to This American Life, and Ira Glass always fucking got me to donate. I don't know how, but he did. He just made me feel so...good about feeling bad that they needed money...or something. Granted, I never could afford to donate enough to get the fancy bag or the mug that says Wait Wait don't drink me!... but the business model seems sound.

-moo

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moooooooooo Visit and help me finish the monster list: goo.gl/rpBGe (Ya'll mostly know me as CLOG, fyi)

And to repost a couple of things from the last thread:


AND ESPECIALLY THIS


Perhaps another limited-edition bundle that awards a badge or memento or something. I am personally a great big sucker for "achievement" kinds of things like badges.

Discounts on Mementos, or molds that make fewer/more than 50.

Custom attributes? Maybe?

"Just one more sex change please" token for Paprika's.

Teleport beacons (for a limited time?)

If I can think of anything else that might not take five years of programming...

Kitchen furniture (though that might be a lot of involved programming). Food storage pantry (maybe with options to make the contents private or public). Stove that provides a greater stamina buff than Cooking in the Jungle. Cleaning/Cooking is generally not worth bothering with, I haven't used it in a very, very long time.

also, tents.

How about a way to buy your friends off the FailBoat? In the olden days, I sent Marly 25 SP (then called DP) to buy herself a NewDay to free her from the Boat so we could play. I did that more than once!

Oh, I'm pretty sure the most important clause to him is where it can be done without triggering a Newday. You can still donate for people as a gift and let them off the failboat if they gave you the link, I bet!




Yes sir! Or at least a way to permanently reduce health(though that wouldn't probably cost anything, would it?) I'm pretty sure the collective value of all the organs in my body isn't worth all that requisition on Bastard Rank.

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There are two secrets to success. The second one is to never reveal all your secrets.

Donating for people is kind of bunk if you're just wanting to spend 25 - 50 USD cents on them.

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BARK BARK BARK.