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 Gizoogle'd
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Waverly
 Tuesday, January 22 2013 @ 01:41 AM UTC (Read 4349 times)  
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"Long rap short," her ass says, bustin her muthafuckin ass comfortable. "Because like I say, I straight-up don't have time fo' this." Biatch points ta tha wooden fort. "Thatz a outpost." Biatch points ta tha jungle. "Thatz tha Jungle." Biatch points ta her muthafuckin ass. "I be Da Watcher." Biatch points down at yo thugged-out ass. "Yo ass be a plonker. Fuck dat shit, straight-up, I mean dat shit. You're clearly deprivin a hood somewhere of a idiot. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sorry ta belabour tha point yo, but itz blingin dat our crazy-ass asses git tha Watcher-Plonker relationshizzle established properly, straight away. Otherwise you might git ideas."

Yo ass stare up at her accusin finger. "What?"

http://www.gizoogle.net/xfer.php?link=http://www.improbableisland.com/&sa=U&ei=f-z9ULqJH8jF0QXGtoHwDA&ved=0CB4QFjAA&usg=AFQjCNEV6TLXvyaL_Z2aw-HwBaLkKEgGEA


(Try looking at your own bio on the Enquirer- and I dare you not to laugh.)


Staniel gets tha credit fo' givin mah crazy ass dis thang


.
 
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Genevieve
 Tuesday, January 22 2013 @ 01:50 AM UTC  
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https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AkUY-XMfpMUJdGpWODFIcDZueUNKaDBKcHlEaTlUR0E

Kew is compiling Gizoogled monsters.

Also Gizoogle did horribly offensive and wonderful things to my already horribly offensive whore house.

The Human Room, for example:

Yo ass timidly open tha door ta tha room labeled Human, unsure of yo' expectations. Da room smells straight fuckin of incense, sweat, n' tha distinctizzle odor of dat towel up in a funky-ass bachelors bedside drawer. Every wall is covered wit hung tapestries n' ornate rugs up in shadez of red n' deep umber, tha center of tha room be a massive bed, circular up in shape, dat supports tha phattest playa you've eva seen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude lies seductively on his side, head propped up on his hand, his wild lil' free hand rubbin up n' down his hip up in a slow, allurin manner. Yo ass can hear tha delicate whisper of his crazy-ass meaty fingers passin over his seemingly endless red body afro yo. Dude purses his fuckin lips all up in his bushy orange beard n' winks. "Me name es Robert" he says up in a thick Scottish accent "Yuv cum t'th muthafuckin right room, yu'ave fo' realz. Ahm th'bust luver 'ere." Dude grins wit surprisingly white teeth. Yo ass don't doubt him, muthafuckin. In spite of his crazy-ass massive brew gut you still gots a glimpse of what tha fuck would normally be under a kilt. You've heard tha joints n' all yo, but you never muthafuckin thought it would be true yo. Dude sees you starin n' on tha fuckin' down-lowly beckons you ta tha bed wit a cold-ass lil curl of his wild lil' finger.


 
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Ada
 Tuesday, January 22 2013 @ 02:03 AM UTC  
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I cannot decide if this is the best line I've seen yet:

What tha fuck iz he like, biatch? Dude is practical; he makes thangs, n' likes ta make em dope yo.


Or this one:

"It's a Zol-"
Then silence. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass.


 
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Kew
 Tuesday, January 22 2013 @ 02:54 AM UTC  
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Omfg I cannot stop laughing at this shit.

Kewz a morph again, n' shez none too pleased bout it, even if her ass is a lil talla fo' realz. Bout 5'6" fo' realz. At least her ass gots ta keep her afro dis time around, which is probably all you've gots ta recognize her by yo. Her eyes still gots a gangbangin' faint chronicglow.
It aint nuthin but not as though all tha improbabilitizzle coursin all up in her is goin ta disappear cuz her ass looks like a cold-ass lil cat, afta all. It seems like tha drive had issues decidin on what tha fuck kind of pussaaaaay her ass ought ta be; her markings is a hodge-podge of calico, tabby, n' tortoiseshell patterns. Overall, tha impression is 'brown' wit a gangbangin' few splotchez of orange n' stripez of black. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Lil Small-Ass patchez of shorter fur, particularly around her stomach, suggest a attempted shaving.

All her tattoos, if they be there, is hidden by her fur, which is most distressin ta her muthafuckin ass. On tha other hand, her frecklez is hidden too. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch can live wit dat shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch still has pierced ears; a gold stud up in each, a hoop up in tha muthafuckin right ear, n' a funky-ass bar all up in tha left wit a violet gem on tha end.


Wouldn't it be loverly?
 
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Full Metal Lion
 Tuesday, January 22 2013 @ 03:48 AM UTC  
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Okay, looking up one's bio is nice and all, but I'm going to have to take this to its logical conclusion.

Gizoogle made my signature so much better... I'm not sure how to feel about that.


 
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Docenspiel
 Tuesday, January 22 2013 @ 05:59 AM UTC  
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It aint nuthin but Mista Muthafuckin Baloney, muthafucka! Or rather, a 10" plush doll of a cold-ass lil chimp up in a 50z sci-fi space suit, complete wit a antenna sportin fishbowl helmet. Smoke up hour of funk wit yo' cuddly freshly smoked up dopest pal, muthafucka! (Disclaimer: Cuddlinizz not guaranteed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo Crazy-Ass thangs up in dis biatch may vary.)



My bio had a couple of humorous translations, but nothing compared to Whistle's monkey mascot Mister Baloney. And does anyone hear Ice T when they read these?


For rent: one skull, in serious need of dusting.
 
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Ada
 Tuesday, January 22 2013 @ 09:27 AM UTC  
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According to their About page we're supposed to be hearing Snoop Dogg, but I mean, if Ice T is funnier to you who cares what we're supposed to think really.


 
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Ada
 Tuesday, January 22 2013 @ 09:29 AM UTC  
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Apologies for double-posting but that last was clearly better communicated in Gizoogle:

Accordin ta they Bout page we're supposed ta be hearin Snoop Ta Tha D-O-Double-Gizzle yo, but I mean, if Ice T is funnier ta you whoz ass cares what tha fuck we're supposed ta be thinkin straight-up.


 
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Chef Micha
 Tuesday, January 22 2013 @ 10:09 AM UTC  
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The much-missed Medic Props sent me this freestyle rap he composed in honour of the gizoogled Island. Here it is.

Twisted lips like the end of bad trips bring on green eyes, paralyze, roll the dice and get tricked. A joker's just another monster hiding incognito, check underneath the tophat, doesn't look like much to me, though. A gentleman with fancy clothes to cover up the island's woes and remind us that the world we used to know is far away.

Take a trip into the jungle hide out from the rookies, they might not make it out of NewHome but their bodies are kept low-key. Lift up all the cameras and point them at the sky - the Watcher likes to watch you fail but never lets you die. Go failing with the failors and wake up with your jailor, ask her about her sweater and get ready for a fight. Belowdecks you break necks and get checked to see if you're still good to show, don't fuck up your last chance or upset the status quo.

Respect to Caveman Joe, text adventure isn't dead, long live improbability and the questing that's ahead.


 
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Mr Geppetto
 Tuesday, January 22 2013 @ 11:16 AM UTC  
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Hilarious. Felt I needed to share with you just this snippet from my char's extended bio:

"...with fuckin shitloadz of 'divers alarums' "

All that needed to be said, has been said. Thanks, Waverly, for sharing Gizoogle with us, it has totally made my day.


 
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Mr Carrot
 Wednesday, January 23 2013 @ 03:36 AM UTC  
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I thought this couldn't get better. Then I read the 2012 Christmas MotD.

Throughout most of Chrizzle day, floppin around wit mah mum n' dad, our crazy-ass asses basically ate ourselves tha fuck into a stupor n' then sat n' watched tha telly, drankin cup afta cup of tea, followed by blunts, followed by sherry, then a mince pie, then another cup of tea, then letz peep if our crazy-ass asses can shiznit one mo' turkey sandwich tha fuck into some spare orifice somewhere, then another blunt - mah dad on his hand-rolled Amber Leaf, mah mum on her Richmond Menthols, mah crazy ass alternatin between Richmond Menthols ("Da Taste of Thangseekerz Allowizzle!") cuz it was Chrizzle, damn it, n' Drum rollin bluntz ("Da Taste of Prison!") cuz, Chrizzle and not, I was still broke. I haven't watched TV up in years, n' it'd been a while since I'd been home fo' tha holidays too, so I gots a thugged-out double hit of nostalgia. Followed by a triple hit of Scrooge.


dragged down tha fuck into tha muck


Merry Chrizzle n' a Kool as fuck New Year!


I think we can all agree with these words of wisdom.


 
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Cicero
 Monday, January 28 2013 @ 09:20 PM UTC  
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Cicero might done been pretty once yo, but tha gapin holez up in her flesh make it hard ta tell. Her muthafuckin right eye be a funky-ass blemished crater: a loss pimpin ta her fourth DK.
As a zombie, her ass is straight-up thugged-out n' warm (though maybe thatz just tha decomposition). Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch has a taste fo' a phat drink, and of course a gamey appetite fo' cerebral matter. Biatch is phat wit a funky-ass blade.
Cicero don't remember much bout what tha fuck her ass was bustin before her ass raised up on tha Island. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Shez been almost everywhere on tha Island yo, but feels most up in da crib up in New Pizzlesburgh.



"New Pizzlesburgh."


 
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