We've gotten a couple of monster suggestions submitted via the "Petitions for Help" system. For tracking purposes, I'm transferring them here for consideration as future monsters--er, indigenous residents of the Island's many jungles.
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From Contender Flax (2009-07-27) comes a suggestion for:

* The manufacturers of child-proof bottles.

So I should put monster suggestions in a petition for help until the new monster suggestion system is up and running? Or put them here? Or keep them to myself, saving everyone time and saving me embarrassment?

Which reminds me, internet memes are so selfish. I think we should create internet youyous and wewes. Or be archaic and create internet theethees.

Thythys!

I'd like the Thieving Midget Bastards back, please. Since we no longer have the same trading stations, I suggest that they drop 0-5 ciggies (to represent coffee, tea, and sugar) and almost everything in eBoy's new trading station. I don't think that they should drop Improbability bombs...or at least, it should be very, very improbable. I always rather enjoyed the TMBs. Of course, I rather enjoy the Midgets, generally. They've got lots of character. And they're sort of cute. Why yes, I AM very nearsighted, why do you ask?

Put them here, please. Let's save the Petitions for pleas for help and bug reports.



Uh ... Okay, that one you can keep to yourself and save the embarrassment. A mind is a terrible thing to wastewaste.

In that case, I got a monster that has been in my mind ever since 'Monster sightings' had stopped.

Name: Swine Flu

Attacks with: Mass Hysteria

Description: A sickly looking hog with tattered wings. Thinks he's the most powerful thing on the face of the earth.

I can make a story for when you encounter him and defeat/victory messages later if need be.

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I make the many models of a mutant individual. To make them I use vegetables, animals, and minerals. From robot bugs to zombie bears to many singing barnacles.

You begin to see things pixelated, but a copy of the World Almanac has also dropped in front of you.

You look at the clue : "You'll find her in dense lush vegetation on an island of random happenings."

You begin to thumb through the World Almanac to narrow down your choices when you suddenly hear a woman's voice.

And you look up.

Then you realize ...

... Where in the world is ...

You are battling Carmen Sandiego, who attacks you with geographic trivia!

Upon victory or defeat: "No wonder you could never win the game at home."

0 crap meat, 1 half, 1 tasty.

You are walking along very much enjoying your own company, when all of the sudden, you stumble upon a beach. It appears deserted, but several identical towels are laying in the sun, unattended. You turn to see a dock nearby. Curious about the whereabouts of the beach goers, you venture over to it.
Your investigative intuition draws you to the end of the pier. Seeing nothing of particular interest on the dock, you decide peek your head beneath it. You recoil in horror as you see multiple limbs being devoured by a mineral based shellfish of some kind.

You have encountered a Rock Lobster.

Rock Lobster lunges at you with obsidian pincers.

Victory Message: Tastes like granite. Maybe some butter would help.

Defeat Message: That thing took you dowwnnn, dowwnnn, dowwwnnn...

If you're going to put in a Rock Lobster, and we already have a Paper Tiger...
we'd need the following as well.

You see before you on the path a tiny gecko. Thinking it's no big deal, you move to pass it.
AGHHH, WHAT DID IT JUST STAB YOU WITH?

You have encountered a Scissor Lizard which lunges at you with Running with Scissors!



Or something like that. No clue on victory/defeat messages.

*cough*

Meme is pronounced 'meem,' rhymes with scream.



Not me-me.

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BARK BARK BARK.

Oh I know. It's a pun that only works written out.

A pen pun.

Of course, perhaps Beaker from the Muppets would pronounce it "me-me."

And if it's good enough for Beaker, it's good enough for me. or me-me.

As you wade through the foliage, you begin to hear a faint noise. as you follow it, you begin to notice movement behind trees or bushes, always out of sight. when you finally reach a clearing, you see it, a dancing sillouette. the faint sound appears to be obnoxious pop music, emminating from the shade. just as you move closer to investigate, it dances in your direction, then suddenly whips out its headphones, catching you in a choke hold.

You have encountered "musical shade" which lunges at you with "bad dancing/pop music/poor advertizement/ headphones"

Victory: as you stomp out the music, sweet silence is returned to the Jungle. you never thought you'd be happy to hear plain old improbablilty

not sure how good this idea is, it just popped into my head, feel free to make suggestions/alterations. :/

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Some people see the glass as half full, some people see it as half empty, I just spit in the cup until it isn't a problem anymore.

Not that I believe a torrent of ideas is needed, but I'd like to share an idea from a roleplaying game a couple of years back (it fits the island, and we still reference this):

Monster: German Oompah Band

The German Oompah Band* explains to you that they must kidnap you for your own protection - they have traveled from the past to save the future, which depends on you! Someone else was supposed to protect you, but they overshot when traveling back in time, so he founded this band to wait until this day and then kidnap you!

Strangely, you don't accept their argument.

German Oompah Band lunges at you with Sacks and Poor German!


*In our game, this was us. We were very persuasive, masters of illusion, and not bound but common sense.

-Bruno.

I just did a special internet sexy wewe. Thank you.

EDIT: ZOLOTISTY - THAT DOES RHYME WITH MICTURATION.

As you walk, you notice something grey and squishy starting to fall upon you ...

... and the objects start falling faster and faster and faster ...

... then you realize that this is a Mutant's dream come true ...

You are battling a Brainstorm, which attacks you with torrents of ideas!


(I had to do it since you didn't believe it was needed. )

Shouldn't that be a Zombie's dream come true?

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I make the many models of a mutant individual. To make them I use vegetables, animals, and minerals. From robot bugs to zombie bears to many singing barnacles.

You are correct. I am clueless.

Now I shall go lie down in a dark room.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCayacFcCX4

I see your muppets, and raise you a http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKscaLcO7ko

Which reminds me, Rick Astley can be one of the monsters, if he isn't already. It would be funny if landing on him triggered an mp3 of the first bit of "Never Gonna Give You Up"